Who's got the stuff that made the Wild West wild?
Who pleases ev'ry woman, man, and child?
Who does his best to give the customers a thrill?
Who?
Colonel Buff'lo Bill.
Who's got the show that gets the most applause-
Five hundred Indians and fifty squaws,
Ten feature acts, and there's the special feature still?
Who?
Colonel Buff'lo Bill.
Did you ever see a cowboy rope a steer?
No, we haven't.
Or an Indian wither feathers throw a spear?
No, we haven't.
Or a marksman shoot an earring from an ear?
No, we haven't.
Did you ever see a holdup?
No, sir.
Then gather close
And let me give you some of the atmosphere.
The hour is midnight and all is still;
We see the stagecoach climbing up a hill,
Going along the mountain trail,
Carrying passengers and mail,
Never suspecting danger as they roll along.
The watchful driver is in his seat,
His trusty rifle lying at his feet.
Some of the passengers inside
Seem to be dozing as they ride,
Never suspecting there is something really wrong.
Suddenly there's a shout-
What is it all about?
What is it all about, you ask?
It's Indians!
Indians?
Indians!
Indians?
Very notable, cut-your-throatable Indians!
Indians?
Just when they've taken ev'ryone by force,
Who makes an entrance on a big white horse?
Who starts a-shootin till
There's no one left to kill?
General Grant?
No! Colonel Buff'lo Bill!
Certainly this is quite a thrill,
Better than all the vaudeville-
Let us be on the go
And see the show
With Buff'lo Bill.

Five hundred Indians, it can't be so-
That's what they always say in every show.
I've never seen him, but I'll bet that he's a pill.
Who?
Colonel Buff'lo Bill.
Ten feature acts? I'll bet there aren't five.
Wild bucking broncos? Beth they're half alive.
I've never see him, but I know he'd make me ill.
Who?
Colonel Buff'lo Bill.
Did you know that what you're saying hurts the sale?
No, I didn't.
That it's libelous and you could go to jail?
No, I didn't.
That you're liable to be tied up to a rail?
No, I didn't.
Do you know what's apt to happen?
No, sir.
Then gather closer
And listen while I tell you a gruesome tale.
While we were playing
In Buffalo,
A certain hick
Who hadn't seen the show
Started to say that it was bunk,
Spreading a rumor that it stunk,
Never suspecting that the news would reach my ear.
That very midnight
We found his house,
And through the window
Quiet as a mouse
Somebody saw him fast asleep;
There he was, wrapped in slumber deep,
Never suspecting there was danger lurking near.
Suddenly came a shout-
What was it all about?
What was it all about, you ask?
'Twas Indians!
Indians?
Indians.
Indians?
Very notable, cut-your-throatable Indians.
Indians?
Now will you give yourself another guess?
Yes!
Now will you tell them we're a big success?
Yes!
Now who's the man who gives the customers a thrill?
General Grant?
No- Colonel Buff'lo Bill!
Certainly this is quite a thrill,
Better than all the vaudeville!
Let us be on the go
And see the show
With Buff'lo Bill!