I had a phone.
(A grand invention)
It was a good phone.
(With a long extension)
That is you see what I mean
Is I know it was a good phone.

I had a friend.
He was a good friend.
I told my friend ‘bout my phone
‘Cause I thought he was a good friend.

What relief!
Didn’t I have my man?
Then the chief
Phoned us and the fun began.

Ain’t got no man
Ain’t got no friend.
I’ll bet you can guess
Just exactly what happened.
(My friend works for the telephone company)
That was the end
The end of my friend
The end of my phone
And darn near the end of me.