When life seems full of clouds an' rain
And I am filled with naught but pain,
Who soothes my thumpin' bumpin' brain? Nobody
When winter comes with snow an' sleet,
And me with hunger and cold feet,
Who says "Ah, here's two bits, go an' eat!" Nobody

I ain't never done nothin' to nobody,
I ain't never got nothin' from nobody, no time!
And until I get somethin' from somebody, sometime,
I don't intend to do nothin' for nobody, no time!

When summer comes all cool and clear,
And friends they see me drawing near,
Who says "Come in and have a beer?" Nobody
I had a steak some time ago,
With sauce I sprinkled it all – Oh!
Who said "That sauce is Tabasco?" Nobody

When I try hard an' scheme an' plan,
To look as good as I can,
Who says "Ah, look at that handsome man?" Nobody
When all day long things go amiss,
And I go home to find some bliss,
Who hands to me a glowin' kiss? Nobody

VERSES 4 - 10 (in PDF sheet music)