Now we'll say "Till something do us part."
That old dad of mine ain't got a heart.
Any girl who's out for pleasure,
Thinks of marriage only at her leisure,
As it is, they've got the horse behind the cart.
When my pop said we must wed,
He kind of wowed me,
Still I'm ready:
But one thing must be clear at the start.

I'll be hard to handle
I promise you that
And if you complain,
Here's one little Jane
Who'll leave you flat.

I'll be hard to handle
What else can I be?
I say with a shrug,
I think you're a mugg
To marry me.

When you first threw me a gander,
I was willing to philander;
But I never thought I'd have to be a bride.
Now you're gonna find tough sledding,
I don't want no shotgun wedding,
I was only along for the ride!

I'll be hard to handle
I'm tellin' you plain
Just be a dear,
And scram out of here.
I'm gonna raise Cain!

I'll be hard to handle
My bridges are burned
This wedding's a gag,
And you're in the bag
Where I'm concerned.

I'll be hard to handle
When we've said "I do;"
I see there's no hope,
I just got a dope when I took you.

I'll be living my life in beds,
But they always will be twin beds
And I warn you you'll be living like a monk.
Our affair is now a past one,
So don't think you've pulled a fast one.
Just remember I think you're a punk.

I'll be hard to handle
I'm no "ball and chain"
I'll find some menas to call the Marines,
I'm gonna raise Cain!